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Fic: Something That Never Happened To Lyle And Brainy, LOSH, Lyle/Brainy, PG-13, 1/1 - Nonsense & Nonesuch
Amarin Rose's Flights Of Fantasy
Fic: Something That Never Happened To Lyle And Brainy, LOSH, Lyle/Brainy, PG-13, 1/1
Set during the Titans/Legion crossover series. Gar Logan is annoying, Lyle Norg is pissed, and Querl Dox is…not acting like his usual rude, emotionless self.

Something That Never Happened To Lyle And Brainy


Set during the Titans/Legion crossover series, right after the scene where Gar calls Lyle ‘Headband Lad!’ and Lyle gets all pissy and says, “Should we just all wear nametags, would that help?”

And, as the Titans/Legion crossover series was right before the Legion got rebooted (yet again), that means that none of this ever happened…


“‘Headband Lad’!” Lyle Norg snarled for the fourth time in as many minutes (the sixteenth time in the past four hours), storming into his quarters. “I’m not even the only one in the Legion who wears a headband.” He yanked the offending article from his head, allowing his blond hair to flop around his face fetchingly. “And how hard is it to remember that I can turn invisible?” he demanded. “Changeling doesn’t go around calling Cosmic Boy ‘Metalhead’!”

Querl Dox, following on his friend’s heels, could only roll his eyes at Lyle’s back. Once the doors swished silently shut behind him, he said, “Invisible Kid, while I do empathize with you on Mr. Logan’s inability to remember our code names, I would remind you that ‘Headband Lad’ is hardly the most demeaning of nomenclatures you could have been the recipient of.” He paused a beat, and added, “And considering how much of your time you spend practicing your invisibility, it’s no wonder that eventually, people might fail to remember pertinent information about you.”

Lyle whirled on his friend, eyes wide, face almost slack-jawed with disbelief. “Brainy, did you just make a…joke?” he asked with patently false incredulity.

Raising one blond brow, Querl said dryly, “I suppose it would depend upon one’s perspective on humor. Yours is decidedly juvenile.”

Lyle snorted. “As opposed to yours, which is twelve levels of maturity above the rest of us poor plebeians?” he asked, arching his own eyebrow.

Querl just bared his teeth sharply in that little half-smile of his that could mean anything from, ‘Why must I be surrounded by idiots?’ to, ‘I’m thinking of all the different ways I could make your life hell for annoying me, and I can’t see an end in sight.’

Lyle always got turned on by that smirk. He had a feeling that wasn’t exactly healthy, but it was by far the least problematic of his personal issues. Seeing that he wasn’t going to win this argument, Lyle performed a less-than-deft change of subject. “So how difficult do you think it would be to get most of the Legion to wear nametags to the next meeting with our time-displaced colleagues?”

Querl not only didn’t even blink at the non-sequitur, but he also had a ready answer. “Twenty-five percent of the Legion would go along with your request if you asked them, but I calculate that you’d only be able to convince another seventeen percent without a direct order.” Left unsaid was that Lyle couldn’t order them to wear nametags; Querl had finally stopped stating the obvious ‘for the benefit of less intelligent minds’ – at least to Lyle.

Lyle was pretty sure that that shouldn’t turn him on, either. “Forty-two percent wouldn’t be enough to get my point across,” he said, sighing mock-mournfully.

“You mean that forty-two percent isn’t a high enough number to annoy Mr. Logan,” Querl corrected.

Lyle rolled his eyes and flopped down in a nearby chair. He rubbed his face with his hands, trying to wipe the tiredness from his eyes and only half-succeeding. “I know I shouldn’t let it bother me, but… Sprock it, Brainy, I think he’s doing it on purpose!” He turned beseeching eyes on his friend and tried not to think about the fact that he was almost whining.

“I’ve calculated a seventy-six percentile that Changeling could be doing that,” Querl said agreeably, leaning companionably back against the wall nearest Lyle. “His sense of humor appears to be even more juvenile than yours. But I believe it mostly has to do with Mr. Logan’s inability to believe that – how did he put it? – ‘we all took our names from cheesy comic books.’” He blinked deliberately. “I’m not entirely sure what dairy products have to do with anything, but I performed a low priority search on ‘comic books,’ and the ones from the first half of the twentieth century appear to have superhero characters with names similar to ours.”

Lyle just shook his head; only Brainy would actually do such pointless research. He said that he liked to keep his brain occupied and busy so as to avoid temptation to start a project that could end in another COMPUTO fiasco. And, well, Lyle had to concede that that was probably a good idea.

“What’s really getting to me is having someone else around who’s green – and also an idiot,” Lyle said. Gar Logan wasn’t the same shade of green as Brainy, but he was sarcastic and rude like Brainy; though he was decidedly more lecherous in his humor. Gar was also not nearly as cute as Brainy, but the way he and his lover, Cyborg, bantered with each other – the same way he and Brainy bickered with each other, only with more affectionate teasing, like an old married couple – caused a lump to form in Lyle’s throat.

It made Lyle want things he had no business wanting unless he wanted to experience heartbreak. There was so much more tolerance for diversity and differences in the 30th Century than there had been in the 21st, and yet those two had managed to get together and make it work while Brainy was still oblivious to his every overture, even couched as they were in scientific jargon.

Maybe Brainy wasn’t oblivious; it was more probable he was just ignoring Lyle’s advances because he didn’t feel the same way and didn’t want to have to deal with what he felt would be the resulting emotional explosion if he told Lyle anything to that effect. Querl always did think people let their emotions get in the way of things; Lyle thought that was just because feelings weren’t at all quantifiable and Querl had no idea how to handle his own emotions.

“I’m pleased you think so highly of my…advantages over our 21st Century counterparts,” Querl said, quirking a not-entirely-humorous smile. “But I’m hardly the only green member of the Legion.”

No, just the hottest, Lyle didn’t say. Or maybe Brainy was just trying to drive him insane by pretending to flirt back and thereby sprock with his head. “True,” Lyle agreed noncommittally, frowning as he did some quick calculations in his head. “Wait… You said I’d be able to convince another seventeen percent to wear nametags?” he asked.

Brow quirking at the sudden reversal of subject, Querl nonetheless answered, “Yes.”

Lyle had the feeling that Querl wasn’t referring to him maybe being able to coerce Ayla into convincing Brin. “You mean I could convince you to wear a nametag?” The thought had almost not even occurred to him. He would have tried, of course, since Brainy was his best friend, but since Brainy’s views on friendship were different from his, he never would have expected…

“Yes,” Querl replied simply.

Lyle wanted to approach this cautiously, spend some actual time using his tenth level intelligence…but he’d never been very patient. “Why?” he asked, too loud, too blunt, too forceful, but he had to know.

Querl shrugged with an affected diffidence that Lyle could see was faked. “Because you are my friend,” he proclaimed loftily.

“That wasn’t enough to get you to help me play an April Fool’s Day joke on Rokk,” Lyle shot back.

Sniffing disdainfully, Querl said, “That enterprise was decidedly more juvenile than this one.” He added, under his breath, “Not to say that this one isn’t juvenile, just less so.”

Lyle just raised one sandy-blond brow, urging Brainy to continue.

Querl fidgeted and ducked his head. “And I dislike it exceedingly when people make jokes at your expense,” he mumbled.

Lyle blinked, and spoke before he thought. “And you wonder why I love you, Brainy.” As he heard the words coming out of his mouth, he could have slapped himself. Only, most of his body was paralyzed from panic.

Querl’s head cocked towards him, a slow smile spreading across his face, almost childlike in its wonder. “I hadn’t, actually, wondered such a thing, though I gave thought to its reverse,” he said, and it took a few moments for Lyle to realize that was Brainy’s way of saying, ‘I love you, too.’

Lyle was still unable to move, but instead of panic, he was now rigid with shock – and delight. “You…really?” he managed to get out through a throat tight with emotion.

“You are, in fact, the least forgettable person I know, and not just because you aggravate me so,” Querl stated, and leaned down to press a firm, yet soft kiss against his lips.

Lyle kissed back on reflex, his higher brain functions shot off by the thought that, Grife, I can’t believe it’s finally happening… He blinked as Querl pulled back, surprised and stunned. “Oh,” he said dumbly. “I…thanks.”

Smirking, Querl said, “You’re welcome.”

Lyle snorted.

“And while I would love to continue this–” And the part of Lyle that was still unable to believe the past sixty seconds had actually happened jumped for joy. He knew Brainy never lied unless he had to; it wasn’t logical, “–we need to get back and check on our out-of-time guests. Before Bartholomew breaks something…yet again.” Brainy rolled his eyes and sighed long-sufferingly.

Making an only slightly exaggerated noise of disappointment, Lyle said, “I know.”

“I promise not to forget this happened,” Querl said, and he sounded almost…reassuring there. Which meant that either Querl had been possessed by someone with a kinder personality – and a nice person wouldn’t be able to stand living inside him – or that Querl was…serious about this.

Lyle was inclined to believe in the latter, and not just because that was what he wanted to believe. “I promise, too,” he said, and pressed another quick kiss to Querl’s lips before jumping up and heading for the door. The sooner they left, the sooner they could get back to solving the problem of getting their guests back to their own time.

And the sooner he and Brainy could get back to kissing.

Tags: , , , , , ,
Current Mood: devious devious
Current Music: Tim Rushlow - I Can't Be Your Friend (Anymore)

12 comments or Leave a comment
marag From: marag Date: March 15th, 2006 03:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
‘I’m thinking of all the different ways I could make your life hell for annoying me, and I can’t see an end in sight.’

::snerk:: That line cracked me up. This is cute :)
amarin_rose From: amarin_rose Date: March 15th, 2006 11:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
They are cute, aren't they? :) I'm glad you liked it.
dorksidefiker From: dorksidefiker Date: March 15th, 2006 04:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
*lays offerings at your feet*

Have I told you lately that I love and adore how you write Brainy and Lyle? Because it needs to be said. Repeatedly. Where everyone can hear it.
amarin_rose From: amarin_rose Date: March 15th, 2006 11:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
*accepts offerings* I'm pretty fond of writing Lyle and Brainy myself. Brainy isn't all that fond it, but Lyle's working on him. And I'm glad you liked the fic! :)
skalja From: skalja Date: March 20th, 2006 04:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's so brilliantly funny, and then the last line makes me want to cry.
amarin_rose From: amarin_rose Date: March 21st, 2006 11:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, well, no matter which incarnation, I'm sure they're still together. There's an at least one alternate universe where they are, anyway. :)
mariko_neko From: mariko_neko Date: March 29th, 2006 12:59 am (UTC) (Link)
This is completely adorable, much like your bat/robin cuddle icon, which always makes me go "aww! *interal squeally flailings due to cuteness*"
amarin_rose From: amarin_rose Date: March 29th, 2006 01:33 am (UTC) (Link)
The icon is by jemppu, and I'm glad you liked the fic! :)
sabaku_lotus From: sabaku_lotus Date: June 6th, 2007 03:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was laughing so hard at the little snips and griefs between our green friend and our poor norg.

still sweet at the end and I was gushing and chuckling at the same time; I just love how you laid it out and how both of them interact.

Still great job! Ah....actually motivating me to get off my butt to read LOSH...again...or make weird brainy fanart.
amarin_rose From: amarin_rose Date: June 6th, 2007 05:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
*perks up* Fanart? That would be cool...
aravistarkheena From: aravistarkheena Date: June 14th, 2007 02:46 am (UTC) (Link)
This was a great moment between them! I love Brainy's understated affection!

You write them soooo well. I always finish your Lyle/Brainy stories with a big smile on my face!
amarin_rose From: amarin_rose Date: June 14th, 2007 03:34 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm sure I write them better now than I did back then; I hadn't even read this issue and wrote some glaring errors here. :)
12 comments or Leave a comment